The thing I was most afraid of
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In 2003, I had my first TMJ surgery. (TMJ stands for temporomandibular joint - aka jaw joint) Afterwards, I began having some neurological problems, and was diagnosed with adult-onset epilepsy… complex partial seizures. It was so terrible! My doctor estimated I was having over 50 seizures a day. Life as I had known it seemed to be over.
The things doctors told me:
I would have it for the rest of my life
There was no cure
Medications for the rest of my life
never be alone - I always had to have someone watching me
no more driving
it affecting my memory, so I had a difficult time retaining any new information
Well… In July 2004, God completely healed me of epilepsy! You can learn more about it here!
Yes! I am so incredibly thankful!
Fast forward a few years later, I had more TMJ disorder symptoms… terrible facial nerve pain, dizziness, can’t open my mouth… or eat very well, difficulty swallowing, chronic jaw joint pain… just to name a few.
In 2008, I was told I needed another TMJ surgery. After seeing many doctors, I finally found the doctor who helped me the most, Dr. Sims. I had lots of improvement, but still needed surgery - say what?!? After what had happened to me after the first TMJ surgery, I was like “no. way.” So… I went on with my treatment, saying I knew God had healed me before, so I believed he could do it again! Over the years, I even had long bouts of time that I felt so much better that I didn’t even think about my TMJ.
In 2016, TMJ problems were back with a vengeance. This time, my arms would go numb or they would feel so heavy… like lifting a fork was so hard, also the pain was so bad in my TMJ. I returned to my doctor for treatment. Then he said these words, “You still need surgery.”
I was so sad about it, but even more… I was scared. Having a second TMJ surgery had become the thing I was most afraid of. On my flight back home, I clearly heard God say to me… “You trust me to heal you, but do you trust me to keep you safe through the surgery?”
>insert tears<
So… I trusted God with the thing I was most afraid of… another TMJ surgery.
I had the surgery, and all went great! After I awakened in my hospital room, my surgeon gave me an update on how it all went. During the update, we were told that my condyle was not in my joints at all! It was significantly forward of where it should be, and there was nothing he could do about it. He told me it’s medically impossible for me to talk, move my mouth, etc like that. What?!?
So… now we see that there was a miracle in me all along! I’m so glad I had the surgery and found out about that!
God is so good!
You can always trust him… even with the thing you are most afraid of!
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”
